Sunday, November 29, 2009
so many people changed since years ago.
i guess people change.
have i?
i certainly have. at least i think i did.
i became less fit, thats for sure. played 5mins of touch, and there i am panting like a dog.
so much for being PES C. when was the last time i sweat that much.
and the sergeants asked me to play at kallang cage tonight. sorry. pes C boy is unfit officially, as displayed from 10am to 12noon.
back then, i could last for hours, and people had to pull me off the field to give others a chance to play.
now, i sub myself out voluntarily.
people change.
i guess i changed a lot since sec4.
but some people dont change, even when the whole world changes.
and it makes me wonder.
You were with me till;
1:26 AM
Friday, November 27, 2009
love my x-mini maxII.
everyone's busy with exams. is this what all JC ns-men feel during nov-dec? when they book out, breathe the air outside camp, feel the freedom, fish out their phone, and realise: theres no point asking anyone out unless they ask you out. they're probably having exams.
ask the guys out then.
not free. got something on. busy. still in camp for duty. exams.
say, singapore's meant to be an intresting place to be in. i say not.
seriously, there's no nice movies to watch. theres limited place to shop. gadgets always reach singapore like last. even movies in singapore are late compared to other countries (unless its homebrew movies like i not stupid)
stop and stare at emptiness. i slumbered into a corner, brooding over my sucky life.
my life sucks. camp aint making things any better. my life sucks. totally. seriously. i dont kid.
and home life aint doing any good.
this 2 years is gonna be tough to get over. even for me, a pes-C idiot.
2 years waste of time. seriously. life of a singaporean boy sure sucks.
and when life sucks, nothing else matters. even if i'm plummeted with 100000 confinements and 100000 extras, 100years in DB, i dont care anymore. i'm a living dead. i'm living a meaningless life anyway. let 100 dementors suck the happiness out of me. they'll probably be still hungry. i dont have any happiness for them to feed on anyway.
my mind's mentally dead. i'm tired. sick of this unhappy life. i want to jump into the body of someone's life. anybody will do. at least they're happier than me. even a poor, broken man would probably be happier than me.
happy people need not be rich, loaded, 100000 friends, and a billion dollar apartment to live in. happy people just need the soul to feel alive. my soul's probably long dead.
sitting in my armchair, listen to jay chou music. looking at the orange cup that was once filled with white fresh milk. letting the fan blow wind at me. if not for the music playing, the room is dead. it would be so bloody silent.
and my life feels empty. i'm a hollow man, nothing inside residing in me.
i would rather go back to camp. at least i have something to do. something to make me feel alive for the busy moments. at least i have someone to talk to.
i'm sick of my psp now. believe me.
tried to play some basketball today. even the heavens' making me bloody sad when it suddenly rained.
WHY IS SOME UNKNOWN ALMIGHTY MAKING LIFE SO BLOODY DIFFICULT FOR ME!!!!!
You were with me till;
6:58 PM